U.S. Elections and the Logic of Abuse
I find the framework of abuse to be useful when talking about the relationship we as Muslims have with the U.S. (and I’m aware there is no monolithic Muslim community and that Black Muslims in particular have historically taken a radical stance against white supremacy unlike South Asian Muslims who have historically been more aligned with whiteness and assimilation). As Palestinian writer Hala Alyan expressed recently, telling people that “Trump will be worse” if they don’t vote for Harris “carries the logic of abuse: What’s on the other side is worse, so you might as well sit down and be quiet.”
Working with people in abusive relationships (with family members, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, etc.) is a daily practice for me as a therapist, and one of the common questions that people find themselves asking is, “How long am I going to let this person show me who they are?” It varies from person to person, but many people find parts of themselves wanting to believe in a healing fantasy where the other person finally acknowledges the pain they’ve caused and changes for the better. However, what ends up happening most of the time is that these people are hurt over and over again. As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
I think it’s relevant and important to apply this wisdom on a macro, systemic level. We already know Trump is an overt white supremacist, misogynist, Islamophobe, and narcissist (and let’s understand “narcissist” as a “harmful byproduct of capitalism and systemic oppression,” not a “biological disorder,” as Ayesha Khan argues). Kamala Harris presents herself as being the antidote to Trump’s racism, sexism, xenophobia, etc., but Harris has repeatedly shown us who she is, not just in her declarations that she will continue to fund and arm Israel, but in the way she and her campaign deliberately perpetuate Zionist/Islamophobic propaganda and exclude Palestinian and Muslim voices.
It’s not hard to tell that she’s reading a script every time she is asked about holding Israel accountable and ending the genocide in Gaza. Not only that, most of the time she’s not even answering the question, which, in any micro-level, interpersonal context would be considered manipulative behavior. Her supporters make excuses for her, but again, in an interpersonal context, we would call that enabling. If people running for office have to lie and rely on their supporters to invent excuses for them, is this not a sign of how corrupt the system is?
The problem is bigger than Trump and Harris. I probably sound like a broken record on this, but I know I’m not the only one: It’s the fact that the U.S. is rooted in settler colonial violence and displacement of Indigenous People; in the enslavement of Africans; in white supremacy, heteropatriarchy, and capitalism. I’m reminded of Indigenous scholars and activists who have often stated that white supremacy and settler-colonialism thrives off of the U.S. being in a perpetual state of war, no matter if it’s a Republican or Democrat in office.
I personally think it’s inspiring that there are Muslims, Arabs, and non-Muslim allies in the U.S. who are deciding to either vote third party or not vote at all. If you’re going to shame them and shoot the movement down as being “self-righteous” or resort to the talking point that “not voting or voting third party is a vote for Trump,” then that just sounds like you’re OK with the status quo and overlooking the hopeful implications this movement potentially has for coalition building in the future. If you’re going to reduce outrage against the genocide in Palestine to “single-issue” politics, then that just sounds like you’re downplaying how catastrophic this genocide has been and ignoring how interconnected different forms of oppression are.
An example of a fantasy- and trauma-bond is a parent who abuses their children and says they love their children (and the children believing the parent), but there’s no evidence for that love. U.S. presidents and politicians (on both sides) constantly proclaim that they care about “liberty and justice for all,” but when you look at the violence it perpetuates across the country and around the world, where is the “justice” and “equality”? When did these principles ever exist here? And for whom? Many of us have internalized the U.S. founding myths and lies that it stands for liberation for all people. But how long are we going to let it show us what it really is?
